CB(From other room): "Are you near your iPad" Me: "Yep" CB: "Can you Google something for me?" Me: "Yep, go for it" CB: "Can you Google 'hot milf' for me" Me: "Erm, OK, but before I do can I just confirm that this isn't a trap" CB: "It's a sportswear company that sells stuff especially … Continue reading You want me to Google what?
In a break from my normal posts this one is simply a search for better words than 'thank you'. Over the past four days we have been looked after by the staff of the Doncaster Royal Infirmary's Women's and Children's Hospital, in particular floors 3 and 6, during the birth of our son George. As … Continue reading Call the Midwife (and associated support staff)
Me: Right, I'd better stick some washing on CB: Do you want me to sort it in to piles? Me: You stay in bed, you're pregnant, I've got this CB: You do know it's not like your washing, it isn't just lights or darks with mine and Olivia's clothes Me: Of course I know that, … Continue reading Doing laundry can be fun
Me: "What's this?" CB: "It's a top and tail bowl" Me: "A what?" CB: "A top and tail bowl, for washing George" Me: "Why's it called a top and tail bowl?" CB: "Well one end is for when you're washing his face, and the other is for when you are washing his bottom" Me: "Did … Continue reading A top and tail bowl?
Whilst off buying supplies for the hospital run (I have become a bit of a Wombsday Prepper, similar to a Doomsday Prepper just more orange juice and biscuits than guns and ammo) Standing at the carton drink section of ASDA when a mom pulls along side with a baby in a trolley seat Baby: Looks … Continue reading The Wombsday planner
CB: "Hello?" Me: "Hi, it's me" CB: "You ok?" Me: "I don't know what's happening to me" CB: "What do you mean?" Me: "Well you know I was going to IKEA." CB: "Yes" Me: "Well I've ended up in Babies at Home" CB: "Where?" Me: "Babies at Home, it's a superstore for baby stuff" CB: … Continue reading Going all maternal
Me: "Did we pass??" CB: "What do you mean did we pass?" Me: "You know, are we allowed to keep him?" CB: "We're not adopting a puppy, she was a health visitor" Me: "What was she checking then?" CB: "Well things like how I'm coping" Me: "Ah" CB: "And what your mental state is like, … Continue reading The health visitor
"Dear RSPB I am writing to thank you for the packet of pumpkin seeds we recently received through the post, I was up until now unaware that the average British garden bird had such exotic tastes and our usual offerings must have seemed rather bland in comparison. I also like how you encouraged us to … Continue reading The Great Pumpkin Debacle
On discussing the prospect of nappy changing Me: "I'm a bit nervous about this nappy changing bit" CB: "You'll be fine, you will have enough practice" Me: "well I probably won't get that much, I mean he'll be going what? Twice, three times a day? And if he does it during the day then I'll … Continue reading The nappy count
C: "Don't you dare say that to her" Me: "What's wrong with a solid 5" C: "What's it out of?" Me: "10" C: "You can't tell a 6 year old she has made something that you think is only worth 5 out of 10" Me: "I said a solid 5" C: "That's still only a … Continue reading The solid five