Me: "What's this?" CB: "It's a top and tail bowl" Me: "A what?" CB: "A top and tail bowl, for washing George" Me: "Why's it called a top and tail bowl?" CB: "Well one end is for when you're washing his face, and the other is for when you are washing his bottom" Me: "Did … Continue reading A top and tail bowl?
Whilst off buying supplies for the hospital run (I have become a bit of a Wombsday Prepper, similar to a Doomsday Prepper just more orange juice and biscuits than guns and ammo) Standing at the carton drink section of ASDA when a mom pulls along side with a baby in a trolley seat Baby: Looks … Continue reading The Wombsday planner
CB: "Hello?" Me: "Hi, it's me" CB: "You ok?" Me: "I don't know what's happening to me" CB: "What do you mean?" Me: "Well you know I was going to IKEA." CB: "Yes" Me: "Well I've ended up in Babies at Home" CB: "Where?" Me: "Babies at Home, it's a superstore for baby stuff" CB: … Continue reading Going all maternal
Me: "Did we pass??" CB: "What do you mean did we pass?" Me: "You know, are we allowed to keep him?" CB: "We're not adopting a puppy, she was a health visitor" Me: "What was she checking then?" CB: "Well things like how I'm coping" Me: "Ah" CB: "And what your mental state is like, … Continue reading The health visitor
"Dear RSPB I am writing to thank you for the packet of pumpkin seeds we recently received through the post, I was up until now unaware that the average British garden bird had such exotic tastes and our usual offerings must have seemed rather bland in comparison. I also like how you encouraged us to … Continue reading The Great Pumpkin Debacle
On discussing the prospect of nappy changing Me: "I'm a bit nervous about this nappy changing bit" CB: "You'll be fine, you will have enough practice" Me: "well I probably won't get that much, I mean he'll be going what? Twice, three times a day? And if he does it during the day then I'll … Continue reading The nappy count
C: "Don't you dare say that to her" Me: "What's wrong with a solid 5" C: "What's it out of?" Me: "10" C: "You can't tell a 6 year old she has made something that you think is only worth 5 out of 10" Me: "I said a solid 5" C: "That's still only a … Continue reading The solid five
Me: "But are you sure?" CB: "Yes, but we can do another test if you want" Me:"I think we should, just to be sure" CB: "Fine, it will just say the same thing though" And that was how I found out I was going to be a dad. Up until this point it wasn't something … Continue reading And so it begins