The Wombsday planner

Whilst off buying supplies for the hospital run (I have become a bit of a Wombsday Prepper, similar to a Doomsday Prepper just more orange juice and biscuits than guns and ammo)

Standing at the carton drink section of ASDA when a mom pulls along side with a baby in a trolley seat

Baby: Looks at me
Me: makes the mistake of looking back
Baby: reaches for me
Mom: “He must like you”
Me: “He can probably sense I am soon to become the owner of a small person”

Me: “and just for clarity what I mean is my partner is heavily pregnant, not that I’m about to purchase a dwarf or anything weird”
Mom: “ohh how exciting!”
Me: “Thank you, it is”
Mom: “What are you having?”
Me: “Well I was thinking about the No Added Sugar Capri Sun on account of it having a straw, everybody likes a straw”
Mom: “I was meaning the baby?”
Me: “Sorry, yes it’s definitely one of those”
Mom: “Do you know about the sex?”
Me: fighting the urge to snigger “Oh yes, sorry, it’s a boy”
Mom: “Ahhhh any names yet?”
Me: “Yes, just the one, George.”
Mom: “Ooh, nice strong name, after George and the dragon”
Me: “After George at ASDA, CB loves him, apparently he really understands a woman’s body when it comes to fashion”
Mom: “Oh, well, anyway have you got long left?”
Me: “Two weeks, ish”
Mom: “It will be he best thing you have ever done”
Me: “Let’s hope so”
Mom: “Well when he arrives there’s quite a big group of people that get together to walk round the lake if you’re local”
Me: “I won’t be allowed to go, I have a habit of striking up conversations with strangers every time I leave the house, very much eats in to my day”
Mom: “oh”
Me: “Anyway…”

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