A top and tail bowl?

Me: “What’s this?”

CB: “It’s a top and tail bowl”

Me: “A what?”

CB: “A top and tail bowl, for washing George”

Me: “Why’s it called a top and tail bowl?”

CB: “Well one end is for when you’re washing his face, and the other is for when you are washing his bottom”

Me: “Did we pay extra for this facility”

CB: “Yes”

Me: “We paid extra for an arse and face bowl?”

CB: “Yes”

Me: “Will we not be capable of remembering which bits we have done?”

CB: “Yes, but you might be dotting between and you wouldn’t want to wash his face with water you have used to wash his bottom”

Me: “Hold on, yesterday you were telling me that I’m gonna need to be on my toes when changing him as he will try to stick his hands in his ‘you know what’ and then they will be in his mouth before you know it, that doesn’t sound to me like someone who is bothered about how clean the water is”

CB: “Well I’m bothered so we got one”

Me: “Fine, riddle me this then, in the heat of the action how are you going to remember which you have dipped in for what?”

CB: “We just will”

Me: “Not an answer, wouldn’t we have been better just getting different coloured flannels like we have in the bathroom, one for our faces and one for our ‘not so facey’ areas.”

CB: “They are both face cloths, they are just different colours because one is mine and the other is Olivia’s”

Me: “Ah, oh, really? Well whoever uses the grey one may want to just stick to soap and water until the towels are next washed”

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